Here I provide a brief overview of how to make your own version of a laid back staple.
- go to your closest thrift store directed to a demographic of angsty teenagers (in Toronto, Black Market on Queen West is fitting)
- go to the pullover sweater section. Avoid the knits!
- find a pullover sweater of choice. You will be overwhelmed at the amount of neglected alma mater and disney brandishing sweatshirts. Try to stay calm and collected.
- persevere. Find that one sweatshirt that isn’t overtly tacky (or inadvertently, though this is hard to be conscious of). I chose a minimal one with a rather valorable slogan. No, I was not on the U.S. Navy.
- purchase said sweatshirt. Refuse to pay more than $15 (I paid $10). And DO NOT succumb to the convenience of the Brandy Melville or Urban Outfitters store several blocks down. You’re better than that.
- go home. That was a mission. Phew.
- put on purchased sweatshirt inside out. Have a pen/chalk at hand.
- mark, using the pen/chalk of course, a line 3 inches below the breastline. If you can find someone else to do this for you, we can potentially lessen the effect of human error.
- cut the entire sweatshirt at this point.
- try on the sweater again. Is it the desired length? If not, cut more.
- remember, sweatshirt cutting is an act that likens to aging. You can always add more, but you cannot subtract. It’s also difficult to patch up without copious amounts of spending (hellooo anti-aging serums! Prevention, am I right?)
- whatever you do, STAY CALM. The answer is always 42!